


Journey

by lwinged



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Sex, Camp, Cullen is shy, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Intimacy, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, So is the Inquisitor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:31:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7985227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lwinged/pseuds/lwinged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen smiled. An enigmatic smile and Fohen raised an eyebrow, his eyes clouded with sleep but curiosity still there deep in his orange pupils. "To be honest... I couldn't keep my eyes off you the first time I've seen you but we only just met."<br/>Post-Adamant Fortress</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Written with my adorable friend Lucille (you can find her on circus-night.tumblr.com) for Cullavellan week! The theme was Intimacy.
> 
> Unbeta'ed, english is not our first language so there's probably mistakes! I hope you will enjoy anyway :)

The whisper of the wind didn't help to appease him.

 

Not even the shining stars upon him, not even the men singing while being totally drunk, resonating in all the canyon. It was actually the opposite. A hand on his nose, the other fiddling with a poor little twig of deathroot, thin and breakable. He said some words coming from an old age, that none of the men would understand in their state. Actually, it was a song that once havd many meanings through the ages, but today it was used to help the dead, to guide them towards death. As he observed the ground, the twig broke between his fingers. *So easily breakable...* he thought, sadly. He wasn't saying anything, even if he wanted to scream, to ask those dumb men to keep quiet, to stop that celebration, because at the moment he was definitely not in the mood for that.

He heard a crack behind him - and he was sure it was not coming from the twig he broke few seconds ago - and he turned around, the commander of the Inquisition facing him with a worried expression.

"You're not celebrating, Inquisitor?" he asked with curiosity.

Fohen didn't answer at first, looking down at the ground with annoyance. He turned around again, shivering, drawing a visible breath because of the cold. The nights in the desert were as cold as in Frostback Mountains.

"How could I, I wonder! I don't even see what there is to celebrate... War, death, blood... so joyful..."

A nervous smile appeared on Cullen 's face because of the Inquisitor's honesty - something he always liked. " For our men, it's a victory. For us, it's a defeat. Strange, isn't it? " He Looked at the stars, beautiful in the dark sky over them. "I'm not in the mood to celebrate either, I admit."

The inquisitor frowned and angrily threw a stick far away. He rose to his feet, confronting Cullen.

"Tell me why are you here then? You think I'm in the mood for some conversation ...?" He opened his mouth, realizing what he just said.

"Excuse me, it wasn't ... You have nothing to do with it."

Cullen didn’t seem shocked , if even angry. The weight of recent events left no room for emotion - it was too much.

"I didn't want to bother you, but you were here standing all alone and... I found that sad. I can leave if you want, it was probably a bad idea after all."

He motioned to leav, but the Inquisitor put a hand on his torso stopping him from doing so.

"No... Wait."

Cullen turned around, actually surprised by his words, looking at his resigned and sad eyes.

"Why?" he asked simply.

The Inquisitor darted the man right into his eyes for a long time, finally releasing him after a few seconds. He recoiled.

"N-Nothing. Hm." He pinched his nose, obviously searching his words and then said. "I'm glad you came to see me..."

The Commander watched the elf without knowing how to react, his eyes hopelessly attracted to his lips.

"I am, too." He realized it didn't mean much. "I mean..." He was completely losing his composure, his voice was lowering, he was stammering. *Get a grip Cullen!* He thought, in vain. As always, he was troubled by this singular individual and wondered how long he would resist.

A shudder shook the Inquisitor's guts. Was he right? Since the beginning? From the moment they met near the ruins of the Temple of the Sacred Ashes and since that time Cullen had almost convinced to come and help him to guide the trebuchet at Haven whose outcome would be fatal? "Why?" he blurted out.

Cullen approached him imperceptibly with eyes half closed, attracted by these thick and tempting lips, whispering softly. "Do you really need to ask ...?"

Fohen watched him from head to foot, pressing his lips together. He focused his eyes on his, expectant. While none of them seemed to move, the Inquisitor took the chance and caught the Commander's face with both hands and kissed him strongly cutting off their breathing. Feeling Fohen's hands and lips, Cullen thought his heart was going to explode. His mind was screaming to stop, that it was a bad idea, it was the Inquisitor, that he would be never, ever worthy of him, but his instinct screamed at him to let it go, that if it happened even only once, that was enough. So that's what he did, grasping his smooth hair in a passionate and desperate kiss.They heard nothing, nothing anymore. No voice, no singing. Even their thoughts were absolutely silent. His heart beat vigorously, as alive again, a light in the darkness. His cheeks red, he withdrew from his friend because he lost his breath. However, he didn't break contact. His fingers stroked the blond hair, dragging to his temples. Embarrassed said nothing but in his eyes could be read all the love and tenderness he felt for Cullen.

Cullen was desperately trying to catch his breath. He absolutely did not expect this, not after all that had happened, and somehow he was worried - what if it was only an incident, an impulse from despair? Now he began to doubt, despite his feelings, here and alive settled in his chest.

"Fohen, I ..." He didn't have time to finish his sentence. a young woman with short hair and a large scar on her cheek coming behind them.

"I... I'm interrupting something." exclaimed Cassandra with some discomfort.

"Oh, hm..." Fohen cleared his throat while stepping backwards. He had never been confronted with such a situation before and he sensed Cullen’s pronounced discomfort. "Can we talk later?" asked the mage trying a few grimaces to convey to the seeker that he wanted some privacy.

"Well, I just wanted to see if you were okay and you apparently are so..." Fohen did not know if it was a smile that had touched her lips, but she seemed satisfied. When she walked away, Fohen's hands touched the commander' ones gently and he said without any malice. "Maybe we should go to my tent, I think ... that we have things to say?"

Cullen took a deep breath to hide his embarrassment, even more present since Cassandra came and stammered.

"In... in your tent...?"

Fohen sneered, his heart lighter. "Yes, why? You might prefer to freeze outside and wait for someone else to come up to interrupt our 'discussion’? You prefer yours?"

"N-No no, yours will be...fine." He coughed, searching his composure - but he lost it a long time ago.

The mage smiled contentedly. He hadn't expected Cullen to accept. He would have rather seen him escape by finding some pretext. Maybe the long wait finally broke his defenses? Without further discussion, Fohen gently took the man by the arm and quietly led him to his shelter. They went behind the dancing shadows around the fireplace. Guards, mages, soldiers of the Inquisition blind to their scheme. They arrived in front of a quite simple tent where it was impossible to stand up.

“He bent down, gesturing for Cullen to follow him, and slipped inside. Suspended in the middle of the room was a glowstone diffusing a soft but adequate light. The floor was covered with a straw mattress, fur, food and the Inquisitor's personal effects. For a moment Cullen was unable to move or say anything. Fohen just stood behind him, hands on his surcoat to remove it. The man looked at him and even forgot how to breathe.

He let him remove some of his clothes without saying a word, not really knowing how to react. He did not feel ready to go further than a simple kiss, but how to say that without upsetting the Inquisitor...?

"Listen, I... I think there was misunderstanding... By kissing you I did not think we would go in your tent to do..." He waved his hand towards the bed "That."

Fohen walked away to be in front of him again.

" You might prefer to stay with your armor and clothes who take so much place that we only have half of the tent left rather than put you at ease?" the mage shrugged, amused. He took off his coat and boots with a little sigh of satisfaction. "If you wanted to make love, your behavior would have been very different, and I don't want to do anything that displeases you."

Cullen turned crimson and cleared his throat.

"I promise you it is not because I do not find you attractive... because you really are and I'm probably a fool not to jump at the chance but..." realizing the double meaning of his sentence, he hid his face in his hands, groaning. "I should shut up."

Fohen took his face in the palm of his hands. Mythal, Cullen was most definitely the shiest men he ever had the opportunity to meet. But he loved his ingenuity. Somehow he felt what had just happened was a miracle. Cullen hadn't rejected him, had kissed him and followed him there. He had done that for him. He was the only person for whom the man did so.

"I think I can help." The Inquisitor said, grinning. Slowly he brought his lips to his and saw Cullen close his eyes, his breath hoarse. The contact caused him fluttering eyes. His tongue teased Cullen's lips, begging for opening.

A few seconds passed before the man half-opened his mouth. He hadn't kissed someone for so long that it was a strange sensation to feel someone's lips against his after all this time. Fohen was doing well - he was taking his time, being careful - and the kiss was tender and sweet. It was nice. Still, Cullen pulled back, both hands on the thin shoulders of Fohen, closing his eyes.

"Listen... It's great, really, and I am lucky that ... you are eager to do this with me, but ..." He bit his lip. "We're at war, I know how this can be difficult to bear... Many people only seek comfort in the arms of others, and if it's only what you want then I ..."

Fohen cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"What do you think I want Cullen? ... Since many weeks we casted furtive glances, we healed our wounds together, we talked about our lives without any taboo because you trust me and I trust you... But..." Fohen looked at the ground. "Is it wrong to want to be with you and to you show you my affection? You think I act lightly?"

Cullen shook his head vigorously. "No no, it's... normal, I have nothing against it that's fine but as you can imagine, as a soldier ... I saw many things." The 'many I wish I've never seen' was implied. "And many men had... one-night stand. I don't think I need to go into details." He coughed. "You are the Inquisitor. You are more than I deserve, and I haven't had a relationship for so long that I..."

Fohen lay down on his furs, all joy suddenly abandoning him. "So you do not want to. You're... not ready?"

"It's not... the problem." Cullen rubbed his neck and sat next to the Inquisitor, fiddling his hands with some nervousness and trepidation. "I'm just nervous... I guess. I'm really not used to any of that and I don't want to rush it."

"That's not what I want either" assured Fohen. "And I promise you, I did not kiss you just to ease my pain or my anger. It's just ... I wanted to for the longest time. The circumstances broke my resolve and I just... didn't think." confessed the mage while covering his eyes with the palm of his hand, embarrassment clearly visible on his red cheeks.

A slight smile appeared on Cullen's lips.

"Well ... I guess it's not so bad. I certainly wouldn't have had the courage to do that before a really long time. You know how I am, I think too much. Way too much." He ran a hand through his hair, looking abashed.

"It doesn't bother me to take initiatives, actually." Fohen joked. He rolled over, ending up on Cullen's side, smiling at him. "You are reassured now; you could perhaps put yourself at ease ... I really want you to take me in your arms."

Cullen watched the Inquisitor a moment, who seemed to be overjoyed, while the commander felt that he was dying of embarrassment. He felt a little silly. He finally removed his armor slowly - it actually was a pain to remove it - and he lay down, his eyes plunged into the elf' ones, who was visibly expectant. He took him in his arms and sighed contentedly. All this time he didn't realize how much he needed physical contact. "You know that this will get the wildest rumors, isn't it? Me, being in your tent at night..."

He felt the Inquisitor shake his head in denial, serene. "Who cares. I have way enough concerns. With all that's happening..." Pain obscured his orangey gaze while he was thinking about the horrible things that happened at the Adamant Fortress. "I have thick skin..."

Cullen closed his eyes tightly. He was looking for something soothing to say but in the end he knew nothing he would say would be enough. So he cuddled him up tighter before saying. "I'm really sorry." Regardless, he also felt guilty. He could have done better as a commander. It was his role to effectively attack and make the least possible victims. Dismal failure.

"It is not your fault." The elf contested  with vigor. "I mean, I don't know much about battle or even war. But I've seen you and your men do the best you could, even sacrificing their lives. By Mythal, I'm glad no demon stole yours..."

"I’m glad too but… I can’t help it. I just wish I’ve done better. Something, anything. I know that repeating that to myself over and over again won’t help." He sighed. "I had many fights and there’s always death, it’s inevitable. That's why it's called a war, after all." Fohen's breathing was calmer, almost a soothing sound in the narrow tent. It helped Cullen because even if many men were dead today, at least he was alive. They were alive. It felt quite selfish but fighting all of this alone would be way too hard for the man. He didn't want to lose someone who deeply mattered to him because of the war. He had enough for a lifetime.

"Of course, war...” Fohen breathed quietly, melting into the man's arms. He shut his eyes closed. "I know you may be afraid... as I am. You may think it's not the good time. But I want to give us a chance.... because I need you in my life, by my side."

Cullen smiled. An enigmatic smile and Fohen raised an eyebrow, his eyes clouded with sleep but curiosity still there deep in his orange pupils. "To be honest... I couldn't keep my eyes off you the first time I've seen you but we only just met." His cheeks turned a deep crimson color and he hid his face in the crook of the elf's neck. "So yes. The answer is yes, I want to give us a chance. Anything you want."

The Inquisitor remained a bit stunned by the man's words. All this time, Cullen was just trying to hide his feelings under layers of formality? Somehow, he felt overjoyed about it, it was hard to believe. He nodded in agreement, feeling more comfortable than ever and slowly sunk into the dark.

"F-Fohen?" The only things that answered him was silence and the men still singing far away from the tent that somehow became their little cocoon. The elf was asleep in his arms looking definitely calmer and happier than before, breathing slowly. One of his hand caressed his hair and he moved a bit with extreme carefulness not to wake him up to put some blankets on them.

He should have probably told him that he used to talk a lot in his sleep.

He hoped he wouldn't mind that much...

* * *

  
The next day, the Inquisition set off again toward the Frostback Mountains. The journey would be long for sure, but the soldiers didn't seem to be annoyed about it. Actually, they were pretty joyful now. Any people could hear their coarse laughs. They snapped at the Inquisitor and his Commander with mocking smiles, obviously making fun of them. Cassandra watched the men with a kind of awkwardness. She wasn't sure what they were all talking about. But Fohen did, and he immediately came to their side on his horse, then spoke:

"So, what is it about? Do you have something to say?"

"Actually, yes!" started one of the men while another stomped on his foot. "Ow! Why did you do that, it hurts!" Still, it didn't stop him, but the man had some kind of reputation. He probably talked too much to Varric who was always, always, aaalways saying what shouldn't be said without caring about it much anyway. "You and Commander Cullen..."

"Did the do!" completed another man with blond hair and all of them exploded with laughter, looking at their commander with tears in their eyes.

"W-What..." Tried to say the man, feeling ashamed but also a little bit angry being humiliated by his own men. His own men for Maker's sake!

"Com'on don't even say that you didn't! You came out of his tent this morning! And your hair looked stupid." Cullen grumbled at that. "He won't tell us anything anyway, we should ask the inquisitor about it!" Clearly expectant, many eyes looked at the Inquisitor like he actually held the answer about life, death and even the universe. "So?"

Fohen shook his head, a grin stuck on this face. He looked down at the Commander who was clearly felling embarrassed. For once, he had reason to be. But the Inquisitor wasn't of same moral, fiber. Quite the opposite in fact. "So, is it what you think?"

"Yeah, tell us Inquisitor!" A man said with a large smile. "His sword, tell us about his sword!" His words were punctuated with rough laughs from his comrades, giving themselves friendly tap on their back.

Fohen stared at Cullen who was shaking his head with denial, praying the elf to not say anything he didn't wanted him to say... But Fohen seemed to ignore his plead.

"I could talk all day long about it,” he answered. “He is the only one who managed to get the Inquisitor into his bed, you should respect him for this!"

Cullen became as red as a tomato left too long under the raging sun in summer. He wanted to hid his face or even his whole body in his hands. Or bury himself in the sand, it wouldn't be so bad. Or stay under the sun until he burned. But he had a composure to maintain in front of his men - well, he hadn't much left but still...

"I-I did not..." His men were laughing even harder now and Fohen's smile was growing bigger any second. Cullen growled, frowning, his eyes burning with anger and annoyance. "Silence!" he screamed with authority, everybody looking at him with big open eyes. "So that is the men from the Inquisition? You're a bunch of frustrated and retarded fifteen years old or what!?"

Fohen held back his laugher as the men stopped their mocking, maybe scared by the Commander's rumbled tone. However, one of the soldier couldn't help provoking the man one last time. "I am sure even the Inquisitor must do everything the Commander want with that authority!"

Cullen gave him a dirty look and walked towards him slowly, the men with wild brown strands of hair slipping from his helmet gulping loudly. "Maybe. And with that same authority I could ask you to do anything so do not tempt me."

Fohen looked away and chuckled with a mischievous grin. Maybe the soldier wasn't wrong after all?

* * *

  
Cullen was absolutely right - of course he was - and wild rumors began to form rapidly after this. None of the men actually admit anything, Cullen denying it and Fohen actually joking about it. When the mage asked Cullen if it actually bothered him, he just said that he somehow found it entertaining and at least, they were thinking about something else - not war or battle. He was denying it just for the fun of it. All the inquisition knowing they were together wasn't the problem. People like Dorian, asking way too much unnecessary questions were, though.

"So I heard you and Fohen..." began the mage, and Cullen crossed his arms in irritation.

"What about it?"

...Okay it wasn't that fun anymore.

"Nothing. I'm just... Wondering." The man had an enigmatic smile - Cullen didn't knew if he was happy, annoyed or somehow, both. "Why him?"

"Why not?" answered the commander simply, trying to stay calm. "What is so wrong with me being with him?"

Fohen was wandering around the camp with his dwarf friend not so far away from the two men. He saw Cullen with a serious posture, potentially upset by what he was hearing. "See you!” Fohen said to Varric before heading towards his friends. Both were surprised by the Inquisitor coming around unannounced. "Is everything okay?" The elf sounded a bit worried.

"I was just asking our commander some questions to make sure he was worthy of my friend."

"Worthy of..." Cullen started talking but Dorian totally ignored him, like he wasn't even there. He frowned and crossed his arms even tighter. Of course he knew Fohen and Dorian were pretty friendly but still, did he seem like a bad guy?

"But you know what he said when I asked why he was with you?"

Fohen sighed. "Please Dorian, you are my friend and I appreciate your concern but I would like my private life to remains… private. And you have no right to judge if the Commander..."

The Altus raised up his arms like an innocent. "My apologies, Inquisitor, I wasn't trying to bother you...” He turned his head towards Cullen. “or you" He winced.

"I know, I know."

"I'll leave you here so... er, Commander, Inquisitor." With a short salutation, he went away.

Fohen watched Dorian for a second, then asked Cullen with a light smile. “You look better when you are not brooding." he joked." What's the problem?"

Cullen exhaled a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Everybody is asking way too much questions about our personal life. At first I found it embarrassing, then funny, and now I just find it creepy."

Fohen stroke the back of his neck, he didn't really know what to say. Maybe the Commander was already tired of this? Their relationship and the weight of responsibility were maybe a bit too much to bear? "What do you mean?" he asked in a low voice, disappointed.

"Just that it's tiresome, but I guess after a while they'll just get tired of it, or hear another rumors and bother someone else. You know how it is, they love rumors."

"So, you are not tired of me at least." Fohen felt relieved. He cupped Cullen's face into his hands, getting closer to him with a soft smile. "I don't care about rumors, I just care about you that's it."

"Does it looks like I could get tired of you?" He smiled, happiness overflowing him, and they kissed, nobody able to see them. They were together in their own world and it's all that mattered.

* * *

  
One hour. They were screaming, shooting words at each other for one hour now, more or less - Cullen didn't want to count, and didn't really care anyway. He was walking back and forth, arms crossed tightly on his torso, frowning with annoyance. Of course, he shouldn't be surprised, quarrels where a part of romantic relationship. People are different, they can't always agree with each other. That is fine. That is absolutely fine. It's what he was trying to tell himself anyway, but he was immensely worried. Too much. As always. Things never change.

"And it's been days since you came in my tent!" The mage looked hurt by his own words. "I know you are busy, I know you’re soldier but… A-And all the time you let go of my hand when someone see us! I-I don't want us to hide, Mythal! I want us to be a couple, just an ordinary couple! What is wrong with you?"

Cullen stopped walking to be in front of the elf, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If you understand all of this, why are you complaining? We have a damn world to save, it's not that easy, you know that! We're together since what? Two weeks? You can't expect our relationship to grow if you're impatient like a child!"

Fohen pinched his bottom lip between two fingers. "And you care too much about what people say! Are you what ashamed, ashamed of being with me? A mage? An elf...” he shook his head, deeply pained, clenching his fists as he wanted to understand the meaning of this. "A man?" he added more weakly.

The commander blinked multiple times, stammering. "W-What are you talking about? Of course not, I'm not with someone for their gender, I don't care!"

"So tell me!” Fohen yelled this time, overwrought. This conversation seemed to go nowhere. "There must be something! Because you said those things, but you are unable to hug me in front of someone!" And that hurt him, but he didn't admit it. Because now Cullen seemed to be insecure with him around while he wanted the opposite.

"For Maker's sake, there's nothing!" he screamed with sheer annoyance. His voice was hoarse, he really yelled way too much this past hour. "Why are you searching problems when there is absolutely none!?"

The Inquisitor stepped forward and glanced at him. "Because I am trying to understand what's is wrong with us! Or maybe with me!? If it's not a problem for you fine, but it is for me! If you are incapable of the slightest effort, what does that mean for you?"

Cullen stepped back, clearly hurt, grinding his teeth together.

"Maker, you absolutely have no idea what kind of effort I'm actually doing for you! I have bloody trust issues and I'm scared of losing everyone I care about, something that happened way too many times! For years, years Fohen, I stayed alone because it was easier that way, and look what I'm doing... I'm opening up, because I love you, you idiot!"

Fohen's eyes opened as wide as his mouth and no sound escaped from his parted lips. He blushed, of course he did. Cullen just said it and he never did before. It was so unexpected that Fohen could hardly believe it. He’s wanted to tell the Commander first, but finally gave up, convincing himself that it could unnecessary worry him. He wasn’t the kind of person very confident about his feelings. "I-I’m not an idiot” Fohen protested just for the sake of it."Or maybe I am just crazy... cray in love, for sure... I wanted to hear that for so long", the mage confessed and he passed a hand over his forehead with a forced smile. "I am sorry for being so cheesy, I didn't know I could be like this, Sylaise."

After one hour of yelling and hurting words, Cullen finally smiled. He was a little bit red, his cheeks heating up but for once he didn't really care. It was fine. It was all fine.

"So you… love me too, right?" he asked with hope but also a bit of nervousness.

Fohen chuckled then clutched firmly onto his surcoat, pressing his lips on Cullen's ones in a wanting and passionate kiss. It had more meaning than every words in both elven or common language. The man leaned on, placing his strong arms around the mage's body.

"I love you... idiot." Fohen grinned and kissed him before he could answer.

Between two kisses, Cullen said:

"Let's be idiots together then." Fohen chuckled, and kissed him again.

* * *

  
Silence was only disturbed by the noise of a parchment crumpled between Cullen's fingers. Focused, he didn't notice the elf, lying on the couch to try to get some sleep. But the glowstone in the tent prevented him of any rest. After long minutes and many attempts, he finally reached a hand to get Cullen's attention.

"It's been a hour now, can you just stop reading Leliana's reports so we could get some sleep? You are here, but it’s like you are away."

Cullen looked at him with a little smile before laughing lightly. "Well, you know I don't sleep a lot. And when I do, you complain I talk in my sleep. So you'll have to convince me, Inquisitor." Challenge could be heard in his voice.

"Convince you?" Fohen repeated, almost amused. He took the paper from the Commander's hands and threw it away without even worrying about. He dragged himself upright, then climbed on the man's tights, facing him. "Do you realize what I have to do in order to get your attention?" he asked with a smile.

He feigned innocence to perfection even as his hands were caressing the elf's back.

"Not really, I think you should show me so I'll be sure of what you mean." While saying that a sly grin appeared on his lips - he seemed more relaxed with Fohen now, less shy and a little bit more confident which was not a bad thing.

Fohen didn't need to get asked twice. He wrapped his slender arms around the man's neck and pressed their lips together without any sign of eagerness. He still didn't know if the man was ready for more than just gentle kisses. But for once he felt like things were different, Cullen's eyes on him were not the same as usual, his rough hands firmly pressed on the mage's waist. He blinked, feeling the hot and irregular breath of the man close to his flesh. “Is that clear enough for you, Commander?"

"I think I'm getting it now." They kissed again in a more desperate and heated manner, their kisses beginning to be less precise, almost sloppy. Lips were not enough anymore, tongues fighting for dominance. The mood in the tent totally changed and Cullen watched him somehow with need and want. "Do you still want to sleep...?" His voice was rough but real concern could be heard in his question. If he wanted to sleep, he would not be against it. Fohen's wishes first, always.

"Who said I wanted to sleep?" Fohen purred. He felt like having electricity on his fingertips. His hand slided down the man's chest and he grabbed the edge of his shirt. Cullen understood and pull off the light cloth, slowly, his abs tensing up with apprehension. Fohen touched the warm skin of Cullen with adoration.

"I love you.”

Cullen cupped his face with a smile on his lips – he looked so happy at this moment, so at peace that Fohen decided to keep this image in his head forever.

“I do, too.” He kissed him lightly before removing his shirt without any difficulty, their hot and naked skin against each other for the first time. Cullen thought he would be embarrassed or maybe a bit ashamed – many people would tell him he doesn’t have to be, but Cullen was a man with almost no confidence whatsoever – but it was actually not the case. Not yet, anyway. Cullen kissed the elf’s temple, his jaw, the crook of his neck and Fohen grew more and more impatient, trying to open his pants but their position wasn’t really practical for that. "Wait, maybe we should..." He pushed him lightly against the bed, Fohen now completely laying down. "Much better."

Fohen's heart started pounding faster, his head firing up but he nodded, his face flushed with a soft amaranth color. He heard Cullen take a deep breath before removing his pants, and then his underwear. The Inquisitor gasped and a chill ran all over his body.

Cullen looked at him with appreciation and Fohen felt his cheeks heating up even more - if possible. He was naked in front of Cullen's gaze for the first time ever - something he thought would not happen so soon but he wasn't complaining. At all.

"Stop watching me like that..."

"Why? You're..." He didn't say anything for a while, biting his lips. "Beautiful, really. I just want to... remember it."

Fohen chuckled. "Mythal, you're such a romantic." He grabbed Cullen's hair to kiss him with passion and eagerness. "Remove those damn pants."

The commander laughed heartily and did as he was told, embarrassment clearly visible on his whole face. He was as red as a tomato like all confidence suddenly vanished.

"Listen, I know it's stupid but I've never..."

"I don't care." was the only answer the elf gave to him before kissing him again to shut him up - which actually worked pretty damn well. It was like Cullen couldn't think every time Fohen's lips were on his. Not like he wanted to. He felt like his brain became jelly when the man touched his cock with clear intent. He wanted him, he really did.

"F-Fine." He coughed. Damn, why was he so stressed out? There was nothing to worry about! "Do you have anything... we could use? You know..."

For a moment Fohen seemed unaware of what he was actually asking, panting heavily, his mind got bogged down in cotton. He suddenly realized the meaning of his words and pointed at an alms purse.

Cullen raised an eyebrow and took the purse, his hands searching for something that could work for what they... planned to do. He found a small bottle of oil and opened it, smelling it and... It was actually what they tended to use to oily up leather. Somehow he _knew_ Fohen wasn't using it only for that but he would not say anything about it nor even ask. His rosy cheeks were enough of an answer... He coughed and put some on his fingers and totally lost his composure. He knew what to do, of course, he heard enough about it even when he did not want to - some Templars were _definitely_ having fun - but right now he was just scared of doing something wrong or hurting him.

Fohen noticed his anxiety, and gently raised up to peck the man's temple.

"It's alright, if you don't feel it, don't force yourself okay? We'll have plenty of other occasions"

"No, I want to..." His erection was clearly a sign that he did wanted to and that Fohen's body was something he definitely appreciated. "I'm just scared of hurting you, I can't help it, I know it's stupid..."

"Stupid? Why? I am really happy that you care so much about me." Fohen reassured. He brushed the man's cheek and gazed at him longingly. He felt so lucky at this moment. Being with the man he loved, so gentle and attentive. His ingenuity didn't bother him anyway, he actually found it charming.

"Alright." Cullen took a deep breath, closing his eyes for some seconds to calm himself. "Just tell me... If I do anything wrong okay?" He kissed him gently, hoping that he would understand with it that he truly loved him and cared for him. With one hand he caressed his cock to relax him - Fohen's breathing became ragged at that, his teeth biting his lip to keep him from moaning, his hands gripping tightly the furs under him.

"Keep... Keep doing that and..."

Cullen nodded, getting a little bit more confident seeing how Fohen reacted to his ministrations. He caressed his thighs lightly and the elf opened them immediately, looking at him with apprehension and want, his skin covered in sweat. Fohen touched his arm with the tips of his fingers and that was all he needed to do it. He started preparing him with a finger and this time, the mage let out a moan, then another one. He wasn't sure if it was of discomfort or pleasure, but Fohen's nails scratched his arm, his mouth slightly open and he understood it was definitely the latter. Reassured, he kept going and added another one after a few seconds and the moans grew louder, the elf closing his orange eyes tightly, fidgeting on the bed. Cullen couldn't help it, he had to kiss him so he did, his tongue licking at his lips while continuing what he was doing with his fingers.

The Inquisitor clamped his hands on both sides of Cullen's head, curling his fingers into the blond locks. The kiss became ravenous, the mage biting Cullen's bottom lip, burning from the inside. The man trailed his mouth on the tanned skin, nipping hungrily at the salted flesh. Fohen began to shiver with pleasure, eventually forget at any pain he could feel. He wanted Cullen so badly. He wanted him close and he wanted him now. Breathing totally uneven, Cullen looked at Fohen's orangey eyes with a questioning look. He didn't have to wait long for the elf to nod multiple times to show he was ready. More than ready even, he wanted it with every fiber of his being. He wanted to feel Cullen's moving against him, inside him, taking his breath away. He wanted it so much he was almost delirious with need, biting at Cullen's neck - which was one of his weakness, a whimper escaping his lips. Cullen understood that he couldn't wait anymore and actually he didn't wanted to either. Fohen moaned loudly when Cullen finally possessed him, thrusting inside him slowly, so slowly. It was too much and not enough at the same time. Fohen exhaled a deep breath then chocked back as he felt a sharp pain that made Cullen stop. The man looked at him carefully. He tried to whisper some loving words to appease the elf and in a way, also himself. He didn't want to do anything wrong, he wanted it to be a good memory for both of them. As he was kissing him gently, he felt the delightful feeling of his body melting into Fohen's one. He felt both his head and heart about to burst, overflowed with heat, blurring his mind. For the first time he couldn't think of anything else but the mage underneath him. When he saw the Inquisitor accommodating to his length, he flipped his legs over his shoulders, kissing, licking the sweet flesh as he could never have his fill of the Inquisitor. It was overwhelming. He never felt that close to anyone in his whole life. He loved, a long time ago, a decade but it was nothing compared to this. It was just a crush, a stupid one, but now that he was moving against the elf, looking into his eyes with adoration, he felt it so strongly. Love. True love. He never thought he would feel it one day. He has cut himself from relationship of any sort for so long, thinking it was more hurtful that anything, something unnecessary in his life. How wrong he has been. He needed this. He will need this until the end of his life now.

"I love you... Maker, I love you." he said between kissing that became less heated and more romantic. It had a meaning.

Fohen slowly opened his eyes, misted by the deep pleasure rushing through his nerves. He felt drunk as Cullen drowned deep into him. Their eyes met, connecting their soul in a shared breath. The Inquisitor pulled the man against him, seeking for his solace and safety. He felt good in his arms, as if it was the right place to be. He could listen Cullen moaning softly his name into his ear and it sounded so pleasing, so intense as it actually resonated deep within him. Clenching his nails, skin against skin, he asked for more, more of him, every part of him. Things grew more heated and Cullen stopped to think. He just acted according to his instinct, kissing the man he loved hungrily, biting and licking his lips, his nails scratching his back - Fohen will probably get bruises, a physical proof of what Cullen has done to him, visible for _days_ and the mere thought of it makes his mind go blind with need and want and love and it's too much, way too much and...

"Cullen, I..."

He understood the message immediately, his hand caressing his cock in time with his thrusts, their kisses turning frantic and messy, but they do not care, why would they care, they were together in this narrow tent in the middle of nowhere, together, always together. Fohen was lost, totally lost in sensation, he could hear that Cullen was close too. His whole mind only had one word, one name, _Cullen_ , chanting over and over. Fohen let himself go in a silent scream, his orgasm taking him with such force that he could see white sparks explode on the inside of his eyelids. Cullen follow only seconds later, his name on his lips, and at this moment Fohen knew he would never love someone as much as he loved Cullen.

Fohen loosened completly, his head resting on the makeshift bed. Cullen fell on his side, taking his delicate frame against his chest.He could felt their heart pounding with the same rythm and that somehow made him smile. He brushed a strand of silver hair away from the elf's eyes. Fohen was trying to catch his breath, his hand still holding Cullen'sold.He actually never let go of it.

"Emma lath..." he murmured after a moment. Cullen made an interrogative look. Fohen turned his face toward him. "That means, my love..." and he smiled.

"That sounds good..." He kissed his temple. "Emma lath. My love."

Years later he still said those word and they still had the same meaning for both of them.

 

Fin


End file.
